"Are you mad at me?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"It's OK. Just wondering what I did wrong this time..."

"Nothing..."

That's just a small extract of the conversation that I'm currently having. With Alex. Things are going to wrong in her life right now, and I feel so bad because there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it. I believe her and Heather's relationship has just come to an end (again), an old..."enemy" of hers is getting out of jail in six months or so, her evil step-mother from hell is back in her life, she's just been used by some random dickhead, her psychiatrist thinks that she's on drugs (she is most definitely not) and there's more, but I can't say.

I'm so scared that I'm going to loose her. This is the second time in two weeks that she's sounded remotely suicidal, and it's scaring me. Because if she tries anything now, there's no one to turn to. Heather won't be able to do anything. I don't have Jake's cell number, and email...he hardly ever checks it, and he's never on MySpace. Her mother is a bitch and won't do anything about it. Her father probably wouldn't either, but I don't have his number so he wouldn't be able to help anyway.

She's just gone to bed...so hopefully that's a good sign. Maybe she'll be calmer come morning. I most certainly hope so, because dealing with a suicidal friend is really starting to take its toll on me. There's just too much going on. My entire world is falling apart at the seams on both ends.

Group at school - falling apart. Band - sounds like it's falling apart right about now, too. This could very well be the end of Paranoia, too. I guess I'll learn to deal, as long as everybody survives through this.